The Alley, Part 2

I heard flowing water from a fountain that soothed even my anxiety.

“I want to put up curtains over the windows.”

For an answer, my husband rolled his eyes. He couldn’t understand my need for privacy, seclusion. Of course, his overtime hours ensured that he was never home before ten, so his own experience of such situations was, shall we say, muted.

Frustration is so easily dismissed with the supposed hormonal vicissitudes of pregnancy. That explanation rarely seems adequate because it masks the inadequacies of relational skills. Which happen to include communication, but can’t be limited to that. There are four components to a successful relationship. Practical, intellectual, emotional, and professional. Men often seem limited to addressing the physical aspect of their relationships, especially when they involve wives.

Given this, I did what any rational woman in my position would do. I yelled.
“Damnit! Would you listen to me? This isn’t about what you want, you’re never here! This is about what I need! Why must you filter everything through your own needs first, and if you decide you don’t need it, then you conclude that I don’t either. You’re not the only measure of needs around here!

It’s as if you assume that you’re the only one with needs. And all my needs are actually just superfluous desires that are completely unnecessary.”

It seems clear, right? My explanation of things of the relational terrain?

I do wish that I could report a positive result. However, I have been told, not by my husband, that I also ought to know that a raised voice, no matter how eminently sensible and rational the content, completely undermines the message.

I can attest to that. So can his response.